is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
