yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
