Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
