I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
