Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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