david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
