that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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