Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
