i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize