I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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