bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
