question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
