Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
