I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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