ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
