I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
