I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I stole a fireplace last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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