So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
