The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
