we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
