i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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