i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
