In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
