My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
