I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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