I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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