He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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