Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
