i barfeds in our rink
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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