Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
