so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
