We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
