I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
