Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
