brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
