I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
