I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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