And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize