I just saw a hot homeless man
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
that is very illegal...i love you.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
