You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize