I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My balls are so social today.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
