i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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