I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
