You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize