And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
