I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
