I would go down on you faster than GM stock
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize