Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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