i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
