You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im just a social blackout drinker.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
How does one acquire holy water?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
