My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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