Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
My pussy is not your playground.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
