I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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