Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
