your thong is hanging out like whoa
honey bunches of taint.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
