yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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