OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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