I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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