Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
